Ode to Bella
by ellielouisebirdxD
Summary: A certain Cullen has something he wants to get of his chest. Will Carlisle admit his love for Her
1. a letter for my love

Ode to Bella

How I wish you knew; how everything you do makes me feel. I wish you knew that you're now the reason for my existence. Your beautiful smile amazes me; you're the shiny glint in your eyes captures me from the moment I look into them

How I wish you knew; that my wife can never please me anymore. That I imagine holding you wherever I go; that I imagine you calling my name every moment of the day. I wish you knew that I love you so completely

How I wish you cared; about me the way I do you. I wish you understood the pain I feel when I see you with Edward. I wish you knew how I smell his jacket after he has been with you.

How I wish I wasn't jealous of your boyfriend. How I wish I didn't feel so angry when he announced that he is going to yours. I hate the way I'm hiding things from my family; but I can never tell them how I feel for you.

But Bella how could you ever love an ancient monster like me

Love always

C x


	2. i love her

**Carlisle**

Again I found myself thinking about her. Bella Swan – the light of my life. My forbidden love; the reason for the smile upon my face when she walks into a room.

My son's girlfriend.

I have a wife and a family. People who love me; people who care about me. Esme was everything I had dreamed about when I was human. She was everything I looked for before I created Edward. She was kind; loving; passionate and artistic. And I loved her for all of that.

And what about my children?

Especially Edward – it would kill him. The ultimate betrayal; his father falling for the love of his life. He would hate me. He may even try to kill me. Bella was his everything. His world in one person; he did everything he could so that he could be with her.

What about the rest of them. Alice; Jasper; Emmett and Rosalie; this effects them to. My family didn't need this. I didn't want this. But it was happening; and nothing I could do would stop it.

_Because no matter how hard I try to run away from this; I love Isabella Marie Swan._

Everything changed the moment I finally admitted that to myself. I knew that I couldn't live a lie; but I also knew I couldn't tell anybody. Especially with Edward's mind reading skills.

I noticed Alice was hovering around me more than usual. I wondered if she had seen anything. I hoped – no I prayed that she hadn't. I knew how much she cared for Bella also. But however I was sure that if she had seen anything; she would have come to me. She would have said something. Alice doesn't do secrets.

I stopped hunting with the rest of my _family_. Instead I went when they were at home; and when they were hunting I was watching her. Every so often she would hunt me out. She'd come to ask me about some part of history – and I was always happy to help. Then again I was always happy when she was around. Again I wondered about Jasper and why he hadn't noticed. Or why he hadn't said anything if he had.

The worst part was when Edward brought her here; I hated lying anyway; but while she was here it was harder. Another thing I hated was seeing her with my son; my first son. How had this happened was all I could ask myself when I was free.

This girl - this beautiful; extraordinary girl – had an effect on my kind that I could not understand. Many of the nor-mads wanted her for her blood. But any of us with any compassion were intrigued by her. Of course there was also Edward and I; we both loved her as much as either of us could.


	3. bella's thoughts

**Bella **

Ever since I had seen that letter; I couldn't stop thinking about Carlisle. I knew it was him who sent it. I knew it took him everything to write that. I also knew that he was in pain.

But I hadn't even considered my feeling towards him; until I had read it the 15th time. I realised that little parts of it had been escaping into my dreams. I wanted to respond but I wasn't quite sure what to put. I wanted to talk to him. But I wasn't quite sure what to say. But most of all I felt myself want to here him say all of it to my face, I wanted Carlisle to tell me that he loves me.

How to see him? How to respond to his letter – his love letter?

It had to be done in away that nobody would notice. I would have to go to the hospital; or his when the rest of them were hunting. I had to be more careful no about my thoughts than ever before. I could plan anything either or Alice would notice.

But how could I not plan it and let Carlisle know I wanted to see him?

I looked back at the letter and it came to me. A letter. I would right a letter to Carlisle. I had to figure out what I was going to say in it first though. I had to make sure it made sense. I had to let Carlisle no I wanted to talk to him. Alone.

Again, another idea. A prescription page; this was easier than it should have been. It felt right. In a bad kinda way.

I phoned Edward and asked him to pick me up; I told him I wanted to see the rest. It wasn't a lie. I did want to see his family – I wanted to see his _father. _I didn't want to hurt any of the Cullen's – especially Edward.

I knew that either way someone was going to get hurt. Carlisle or all of them; I didn't like the thought of hurting anybody – but a vampire family that had taken me in as there own. I couldn't, I shouldn't


	4. Authors note :

Hey guys.

I know I haven't updated in ages, and I am really, really, really sorry. I've been exceptionally busy. I am in the process of updating the Zoey and Loren story! So, you'll know when that comes out I'm sure!

I could do with a little advice though, I'm thinking about them having a bit of a movie day, and maybe, just maybe Zoey will start to reveal some of her plans to her friends. So first of all can I have some movie suggestions, and I'd also love it if you got involved in the chapter after that!

Until then, remind yourself of the story or check it out if you haven't already..

Please let me know if you have any idea's, message me..

or tweet me; http:/twitter.com/ellielouuuu

or check my tumblr out; http:/rustysmilesandoiledfrowns.tumblr.com/

Thanks for reading so far :'D

Lots of love

Ellie :') x


	5. Meeting

**Bella**

Edward was coming to pick me up; he was coming to take me to visit his family. I wanted to see Carlisle even more now. I wanted to see his beautifully kind face, but I knew that I could end up giving too much away. I would see him, but I had to be careful.

I thought of the past, some of my favourite stories Carlisle and his son had told me, I wanted to hear them again; they were amazing. What was even more amazing was hearing about them from somebody who had been alive at the time. Asking to hear them again would be the perfect excuse to see him, to be around him. If I managed to get into his room, I'd be able to get the paper.

A car door slammed outside my house, but I couldn't hear any footsteps walking up the driveway. Not surprising really, my boyfriend was a vampire. As I walked to the door I prepared myself to see Edward, I wanted to see him almost as much as I wanted to see his father, and I loved him.

However when the door finally swung open it wasn't the vampire I was expecting. It was Carlisle.

**Carlisle**

The house was in front of me, the air was a mix of her scent and the scent of her father. Charlie was a decent man; he'd _kill _me if he knew. We he'd try.

I knew that volunteering to pick Bella up had been a bad idea, but I had to see her and Edward was busy with his sisters. He hadn't hunted in days, so I told him to go, to join her afterwards. I would explain it too her. I'd said

What I really wanted was to get her alone, to hear her reaction to my letter.

The door opened and the intensity of her bloods smell increased. Her face flushed with blood, her eyes widened with shock and then, finally, she smiled.

'Carlisle' she whispered. Her eyes were full of questions, she was confused. But there was something else, another emotion that I could not place 'why are you here, I thought Edward was coming for me?'

I smiled.

'He's out hunting, he needs to… before he can see you.' I hoped my response was father-like, Charlie had just entered my line of vision. 'Hello Charlie, I'm hear to pick Bella up, my Son is a little busy.'

If he was worried he didn't show it, he just nodded and replied

'OK Dr. Cullen, have fun Bells.' And then he walked away.

I was left alone with the girl I loved again.

'Shall we?' I asked and pointed to the car, the things that I wanted to say were burning in my throat. I needed to be out of any body's earshot with her.

**Bella**

We walked towards his car, I was positive he could feel the tension in my body. What had to be said between us now was floating in the air. The conflict I felt was enough to tear me apart.

I wanted to make both him and Edward happy, but it was not possible.

As we both got into the car, only two words came to my mind.

'Your son' I whispered.

'I know' was his response.


End file.
